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Boomer's Banter

Brent Harvey  May 10, 2012 11:30 AM

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As a leader of the North Melbourne Football Club, I hear a lot of stuff about the players, coaches and staff. I believe in transparency, so if they embarrass themselves in any way…you’ll be the first to know!

11th December: Loose says he's going to gradually shave off his beard and has now adopted the Abraham Lincoln look. Wolverine is next apparently.

10th December: Scott 'Loose' McMahon has won 'Whisker Wars' after Aaron Black folded by shaving his beard off saying, "it became too itchy and food kept getting stuck in it."

23rd October: Our strength and conditioning coach Jona Segal has gone on the front foot after being busted working out to the Pussycat Dolls. It comes just weeks after he was witnessed pumping iron to the Les Miserables’ soundtrack and Michael Firrito was exercising to Meatloaf.

“If I want to work out to the Pussy Cats Dolls I’ll work out to the Pussy Cat Dolls. If I want to work out to Les Miserables, I’ll do that too and I won’t be victimised,” he said aggressively.

Meanwhile Shane Watson was working out to Savage Garden "To the Moon and Back".

16th October: I’ve just started doing boxing again for my pre-season training. Hardest sport ever!

15th October: Congratulations to Scotty Thompson who just got engaged on holidays to Lauren Gear.

8th October: Loose Mcmahon is always bragging about his basketball skills but I don’t reckon ‘he got game’ judging by this photo!

2nd October: Congratulations to Cam Pedersen who just Tweeted the arrival of his second child:

28th September: Lachlan Hansen just bought a brand new couch but there was a small issue…it didn’t fit through the door when he got it home.

12th September: In a true sign of the times, I just saw web guru Rob ‘Superbob’ Burton take a phone call in the strangest way. His mobile rang, but instead of just answering it, he quickly typed the number into Google to see who was ringing. When he discovered it was his optometrist, he quickly answered and was told his spectacles were ready for collection. Amazing.

5th September: I asked Luke Power if he was going to play on next year after our game against the Giants. He said he was 80/20 - the problem is I didn't ask him what was 80 and what was 20. So I still don't know which way he's leaning.

3rd September: Andrew Swallow has successfully infiltrated the Eagles’ camp. His photo has been on their website advertising 2XU gear.

28th August: Michael Firrito and Andrew Demetriou have a lot in common. Spud was working out in the gym at Aegis Park early one morning with Meatloaf playing loud on the stereo.

28th August: Some of the boys are trying to get their hands on a copy of our game against Collingwood because there’s a rumour that strength and conditioning coach Jona Segal actually ran through the banner. I didn’t see it, but wouldn’t be surprised.

28th August: Former Channel 7 and 9 News journalist, now Channel 7 AFL producer Chris Jones was as high as a kite at Aegis Park recently when his favorite hat was returned to him. An anonymous North Melbourne person tried to permanently borrow it after attending his 30th birthday celebrations.

24th August: I noticed James Brayshaw was straight back on ‘green stuff’ after getting home from the Olympics.

20th August: Great to see 2012 Stawell Gift winner Matthew Wiltshire volunteering his time at the Kanga’s Kids’ Club Clinic. I'd love to see him represent North in the Grand Final Sprint come September!

14th August: Could this be a secret weapon for the upcoming match against the Pies? Check out which VIP presented at our match review on Monday.

14th August: Our head conditioning coach Pete Mulkearns has been getting caught up in all the hype of us winning. He was high fiving all the Auskick kids who make the guard of honor for us after the halftime break when he led us out for our warm-up.

10th August: An anonymous staff member accidentally rolled a large box into the back of Matty Campbell's car and busted a tail light.

7th August: I asked Scotty McMahon if he had any gossip for me and he said, "Boomer, I’m so far out of the loop, I find out about things two weeks after they happen."

7th August: Cam Pedersen admitted that he never washes his hair. He reckons he just waits until he has a haircut every month or so and leaves it up to the hairdresser to shampoo it. So wrong Cam.

6th August: Great to catch up with a bloke that's actually older than me!

3rd August: Did I hear Ziebs saying that he was doing it tough in Utah? Check out his latest photo…I don’t think so!

1st August: I’ve been loving the pic updates from Ziebs in Utah. This is the latest - what a view!

30th July: Andrew Swallow cracked a shocking ‘dad joke’ talking about his wife Elise’s new speech therapy business ‘The Voice Within’. He reckons she’s flying and hasn’t even had to advertise because it’s all ‘word of mouth’.

26th July: Congratulations to Todd Goldstein and his partner Kirsty on the arrival of a baby girl, Mackenzie Eve Goldstein.

25th July: Knowing how much of a neat freak I am, the boys trashed my locker this morning before I got to the club.

Have a look at the damage - devastated but there will be revenge. I'm hearing it was Loose McMahon.

25th July: You’d think a dietician would know his way around a kitchen - well apparently not. Our nutritionist Jona Segal made a huge fuss recently when our brand new dishwasher wasn’t working properly. Instead of investigating the cause of the problem like a real man, he called in the experts and demanded answers. Well, it turns out the water hose at the back just had a little kink in it - that’s all!

23rd July: Jamie ‘JMac’ Macmillan, Ben ‘Cunners’ Cunnington and Ben ‘Greg Sawn’ Mabon offered to help look after Drew Petrie’s boy Jack at Williamstown beach during recovery. About two minutes later, there were tears and they had to hand him back to Dad who was in the middle of a media conference.

23rd July: Exciting times with Lachlan Hansen and his girlfriend Prue expecting a child in the coming months.

23rd July: Hamish McIntosh has followed in Sam Wright’s footsteps by making media coordinator Chelsea buy him a coffee at Etihad the other day. She is now out of pocket about nine bucks.

20th July: The BigFooty posters are as fired up as coach Brad Scott it seems after creating this gem.

18th July: Jack Ziebell helped celebrate one of our biggest supporters in outgoing Victoria Policeman Kieran Walshe.

The former Deputy Commissioner had a retirement dinner a few nights back and Ziebs went along with acting CEO Cam Vale to present him with a nice little farewell gift.

18th July: Chief of Football Donald McDonald has followed Brett Allison's lead, signing old footy cards at training.

10th July: It turns out Pete Mulkearns must have stolen Brad Scott’s seat on the Karma Bus - because at recovery on Sunday, Luke Delaney’s dog bit him on the hand.

10th July: Everyone loves a falcon; when someone gets hit in the face with a footy. Today, our media coordinator Chelsea Collins found out what it’s all about. During training a little boy kicked a footy and it hit her in the head. He walked up to her and instead of asking if she was okay, he said ‘Excuse me, did you see where my footy went?’

10th July: Scott ‘Loose’ McMahon has teed off at Andrew Swallow for not telling the whole story in his recent blog ‘Follow Swallow’. The captain said he’d given Loose a massive wedgie in a wrestling match, but Loose says there’s much more to it.

“I agree that he got me from behind and wedgied me when I was wrestling someone else,” McMahon told me.

“I then challenged him to a wrestle ‘mano-e-mano’ (one-on-one). I ripped his undies clean off.

“Why wasn’t that reported?” McMahon asked.

10th July: Known for his expertise with computers, web guru Rob ‘Superbob’ Burton committed a cardinal sin and left his computer on the plane and had to wait until everyone got off to retrieve it.

9th July: Sam Wright tried to be chivalrous at the airport and offered to buy media coordinator Chelsea Collins a coffee - but it backfired when his card declined and he was forced to ask her to pay for his.

9th July: When strength and conditioning guru Pete Mulkearns found out Brad Scott wasn't coming back on the team bus - he was quick to snatch his seat. Brad always sits at the very front and no one has ever dared take that spot...until now.

6th July: Aaron Edwards scrubs up nicely - he was spotted at the Trutrack cafe in North Melbourne having breakfast with Spud Firrito.

6th July: Jack Ziebell was spotted at the Highpoint Shopping Centre wearing ugg boots.

5th July: Jack Ziebell said he’s never heard of Les Miserables (the most successful musical in history). In his defence after being told the title was French, he said ‘I hate France and I’ve never been there either.'

5th July: Ryan Bastinac hasn’t changed a bit in the last year. He was throwing his weight around on my Heroes again at Wednesday’s clinic.

4th July: Another victim of some hard-hitting action. This one will need some ice!

3rd July: More war wounds - this time one of our players copped a nasty scrape from some boot studs!

29th June: Spot the difference: I reckon this photo of a younger, redder Leigh Adams is a spitting image of our Fan Development guru Fyfey.

28th June: Check out the bumps and bruises this mystery player copped during a game recently.

27th June: It's clear Ryan Bastinac hasn't changed much...even his arms are the same size.

26th June: Andrew Swallow has come under fire for wearing his towel around like a girl.

25th June: Shaun Atley has had some work done and reminds me of someone...

25th June: Hamish McIntosh was spotted strolling around Albert Park Lake on Sunday morning hand in hand with a mystery woman. The big Hank is refusing to confirm or deny the reports but has been vocal with other players trying to convince them to show more commitment to their respective partners lately.

21st June: Looks like Shaun Atley, Jamie Macmillan and Ben Mabon’s apartment copped the most damage in the Melbourne earthquake.

Shaun was lucky to make it, but will be right to play on Sunday.

20th June: Majak Daw continues to uncover player lookalikes, this time for rookie Malcolm Lynch with the character Carl from The Simpsons.

20th June: Lachie Hansen's reaction during Tuesday night's earthquake in Melbourne was priceless. He asked: 'Is that someone shaking the house?' - I reckon Drew Petrie might have just dropped his wallet.

19th June: Our website whiz Rob 'Superbob' Burton may be a freak when it comes to computers, but he has no idea about parking a car. This was his latest attempt at Etihad Stadium...FAIL!

14th June: Majak Daw reckons first-year rookie Brad Mangan looks like Mrs.Doubtfire. I can see the resemblance.

30th May: Scotty Thompson reckons his mum ‘used’ to be an identical twin. That’s right, Scooter says because his mother and her sister have changed in appearance as they’ve aged, they are no longer identical. You can’t mess with genetics Scotty!

10th May: I would’ve thought Benny Warren could’ve taken five minutes to wash the flour off his car this morning. Ryan Bastinac has been accused but he denied flour-bombing Milky’s car.
8th May: Our Doc Andy McMahon broke an unspoken flying rule: No reading The Age newspaper on the plane. Not much room for our dietician Jona to relax next to him! (photo on right)

7th May: At least Eugene Arocca was smiling in Perth after finding an Italian immigration monument.
4th May: JB recently denied ever going on the green stuff (playing surface) on game day. But this little snap proves him wrong, yet again. It was taken in Hobart at Blundstone Arena before we played and you can see the centre circle in the background. Get off JB!
4th May: Brad Scott loves wearing the NMFC hoodie even on a 40 degree day, so when the temperature dropped below 10c on Thursday, we weren’t surprised to see him in three training tops, four jumpers, two vests and a massive Blades jacket.
3rd May: There are rumours flying about that the person responsible for covering Tom Curran’s car actually went to Bunnings and purchased 280-metres of plastic wrap in order to get the job done.

3rd May: Most people know the joke, Q: ‘What time is the dentist appointment? A: ‘Tooth-Hurty’. But not Shaun Atley. He reckons the answer is ‘Tooth O’Clock’.

2nd May: Tom Curran is a car nut and likes to make sure it's safe at night, so he covers it up with plastic in the driveway - or was he the victim of a late night glad-wrapping prank?
24th April: A North fan sent this photo in to me after spotting a Kangaroos' sticker on a car in Shanghai.
24th April: Scott McMahon will be getting a please explain from the leadership group after bringing a metal weapon into the spa after training.
22nd April: We have a cult figure at North named Adam Marranello - this sandwich caught my eye at Brunetti's in Carlton!
22nd April: Crock (Darren Crocker) wanted to make sure everyone knew he was at the Werribee game on Friday. The reigning Assistant Coach of the Year rocked up to the VFL in the full North kit.
18th April: Hamish McIntosh got a little too friendly with Tom Lonergan in my opinion.
18th April: Scott McMahon says he’s doesn’t want any media attention. So why was he heard complaining about Daniel Wells making headlines after having a root canal following the match against Geelong? In Scotty’s words, “I had a root canal done and so did Ben Cunnington but you don’t see our name in the papers…bloody Wellsy”.

18th April: Aaron Edwards must be a very sensitive guy. His latest iPhone cover features a princess. I hope the boys don’t see this Azza.
17th April: Thanks to the new Collective Bargaining Agreement we now get every Tuesday off. Hamish McIntosh decided to use it to do some cleaning and thought he would use the dumpster at the club rather than his own bin.
17th April: Spud Firrito was so pumped after the win over Geelong, he backed his car over a concrete pylon thingy at Etihad and tore the metal under his rear bumper.
16th April: James Arocca (Euge's son) was so excited during the game against Geelong, he kept slapping his bare legs and until they were red-raw.
12th April: James Brayshaw has been getting on ‘the green stuff’ as he calls it a fair bit lately. He often says the ‘green stuff’ is for players and coaches only but he has relaxed the rule lately!
10th April: Eugene Arocca must have been a little over-excited during Sunday’s match.  He mashed his binoculars into his eye when Ryan Bastinac broke through the 40-disposal mark and it left a nasty bruise.
10th April: Debutant Cam ‘Spare Keys’ Delaney had a big weekend and thought all his Easters had come at once.  The hotel staff in Hobart left giant chocolate bunnies outside everyone’s room on Sunday morning but Spare Keys thought it was an Easter egg hunt and started gathering them all up in his arms.  He realised he’d made a mistake when it became clear they were specially placed outside each hotel room door.  He then had to go back down the corridor and put them all back.

10th April: After reading about Luke Flushrubs’ health issues in 2011 below, Michael Firrito claims he too had year-long motion sickness-like symptoms that year.  He reckons Flushy’s theory about the world spinning faster is spot on.

8th April: It was all too much for debutant Cam Delaney. After the game, he was out like a light on the flight home.
8th April: Our chief masseur 'Flushy' was in fine form on the flight home. He reckons he spent the entire year in 2001 feeling sick. The reason? Well, wait for it...motion sickness! He claims the world rotated 2% faster that year and he had a bad reaction to it. His said, "My doctor couldn't figure out what was wrong so I'm putting it down to motion sickness."
8th April: The first time traveller should never sit next to the well travelled. I had to take advantage of Brad McKenzie on the Hobart flight. Plastic wrapper on his head and earphone plug up the nose - oldie but a goodie.
3rd April: Shaun Atley and Ben Cunnington’s recent fishing trip turned into a nightmare when they ran out of petrol several kilometres from shore. I’m told the pair had to lean over the edge of Cunners’ boat and paddle to safety with their hands. It took ages for them to reach land and Atts was about four hours late for a dinner.

2nd April: How nice for Jack Ziebell to run into a relative at a media conference for sponsor RACT in Hobart.

As it turns out, he and young Matthew Rainbird aren’t even related, but there’s a stunning resemblance.
1st April: Director of medical services Steve Saunders’ young son Jack was at the club with their family dog Coco on Sunday - when Andrew Swallow asked what type of dog it was, Jack replied, “A brown one.” It lightened the mood after the Essendon loss.
1st April: Drew Petrie nearly didn't make it out on the ground for his 200th game after he left his Blades boots at home! It was left to his mother-in-law to save the day and deliver the boots.
22nd March: Andrew Swallow is already showing great leadership qualities; after our Season Launch on Wednesday night, one player got stuck at the car park exit when the boom gate wouldn’t open. Cars began to queue up behind him and Spitter came to the rescue diverting them so his team-mate could back out. But he’s lucky he didn’t end up with a broken nose again after a truck driver became agitated with the makeshift traffic cop.
16th March: I was handed this 1992 playing card recently and had to look very close to recognise the player - It’s Darren Crocker…with hair!
28th February: Some of the boys think Scott McMahon looks like Alan (Zach Galifianakis) from The Hangover movie.

21st February: Now that Scott McMahon has had his eyes fixed, there's no excuses for him to be wearing clothes like this.
20th February: In the last Boomer’s Banter I revealed Scott McMahon had just invested in a new pair of spectacles. Now I can see why… as you can see, Scotty had to focus on the camera a lot harder than others while getting his headshot taken recently at Aegis Park.
16th February: Scott McMahon has had some trouble seeing recently, so he made a new purchase to help him with his vision.
16th January: Aaron Mullett was like a fish out of water during a visit to the beach on the weekend. Somehow, after a quick dip in the ocean, ‘Fishy’ left the water with a present for the tooth fairy.

I think he might need to spend a bit more time practicing his stroke.
6th December: It seems the serial box stacker has struck again, this time on our property manager who left her Mazda at the club overnight. Silly move Carly!
28th November: We have a pretty tight bond after Utah and even on our week off, it seems there's no escaping one another. Hamish McIntosh stumbled across a smiling, but not-so-talkative Michael Firrito at Lowes.
29th September: I play with some pretty big guys in Hamish and Goldy, but today I met former Chicago Bulls’ players and NBA champions Luc Longley and Horace Grant at the SEN radio studios.

I am on tippy-toes - they are massive!

23rd September: Searching through my photo albums, I've found a couple more of our red-headed vice-captain Drew Petrie in his younger days.

Drew's trying to model Jason Dunstall's famous helmet in this one.
And here's one of him sporting a mullet Warrick Capper would be proud of.
22nd September: My photos of a young Drew Petrie have been so popular, it’s prompted some other player’s parents to get in touch.

A few happy snaps have arrived and it seems one of our younger players wanted to play for Richmond.

I won't reveal who it is, but there's something very fishy about the Tiger face-paint - (picture on right).
16th September: Drew Petrie has started his pre-season training early. Seen here (right), the red-head has been running up and down sand dunes in preparation for 2012.
16th September: Our dietician Jona Segal has played a few tricks on some of the boys this year, but this time the shoe was on the other foot.

Jona has been scared to leave his office of late because every time he does, he returns to find a tower of Redbak health supplements touching the ceiling on his desk.
13th September: We've all had a good laugh at Pratty's appearances in that Lowes ad.. But it's come to my attention Spud (Michael Firrito) has been doing a little modeling of his own for the clothing chain. One of my loyal readers sent this in and I had to share it!
Photo courtesy Crossfire Photography
6th September: Daniel Pratt has been left red-faced after the boys discovered he’d filmed a Father’s day commercial for Lowes - a company which sells ‘clothing at affordable prices’. Pratty features alongside St Kilda’s Justin Koschitzke and could be the worst actor going around. He’s been trying to deny that’s it’s actually him, but we know better.

Copyright issues restrict us from posting it here, but I'm sure if you went to YouTube... or even just click here you could find it.
6th September: Our Massage Co-ordinator Luke “Flush-rubs” Warnett also known as “Flushy”, has become the latest phone prank victim. Flushy left his phone in the change rooms and someone used it to send a message to all his close friends and family saying “I’m engaged and we’re expecting”. Flushy was then inundated with calls including one from his very excited mum and aunty. He had to disappoint them and say it wasn’t true. Flushy has named Levi Greenwood as the prime suspect following similar pranks pulled on Daniel Pratt and Michael Firrito.

25th August:
Here's one of Drew Petrie in his first pair of footy shorts. Looks like he's hidden a footy under his shirt. Note the tinge of red in the hair. (photo on right)
25th August: It's pretty hard to find a park around Aegis Park - unless you are Cam Pedersen. As this photo shows, it’s as easy as finding a small gap and shoving your car in it. Not sure if this is legal Pedo?
24th August: On Monday Sam Wright and Jack Ziebell were watching an ad on TV featuring Cameron Ling and Sam asked "Is Cameron Ling really the mayor of Geelong?"

24th August: First-year player Kieran Harper is obviously trying to get in touch with his feminine side. Rather than getting a normal pet like a cat or dog, Kieran and his girlfriend have just bought a fluffy little rabbit. Toughen up Kieran!

23rd August:  Any guesses who this kid is? Looks like a motorbike went through a puddle and flicked mud onto his face!
23rd August: People rely on different things to inspire them and encourage them to compete and exercise but our Dietician Jona Segal has completely confused me. He has been caught working-out to the soundtrack from Les Miserables. “Do you hear the people sing?”, “A heart full of love” and “I dreamed a dream” were just some of the tunes blasting out of the speakers while Jona was completing an intense Rocky style workout. It’s a weird combination and I don’t think you’ll find any of the boys follow suit.

19th August: I have found some more old photos in my album including this one of a little Drew Petrie trying on Aaron Sandilands' shoes on.
19th August: Cam Richardson has had a bad run of late. Just hours after receiving a brand new mobile phone from chairman James Brayshaw and Crazy John's (because his old phone was so old), his car was broken into and the new mobile stolen. When Crazy John’s heard about his misfortune, they kindly sent James another Motorola to give Richo. It was delivered yesterday and Cam is now aiming to own it for more than a day.

18th August:
I stumbled across this interesting picture of a young Jack Ziebell playing for Vic Country a few years back. He has certainly bulked up a bit since then!
16th August: Today at Aegis Park Lachie Hansen received a delivery of flowers.

Much to the surprise of his teammates, they weren’t from his lovely girlfriend Prue, but from two male admirers.

18th July: Hamish McIntosh’s dream came true on Friday at the NAB Divine lunch. The big ruckman’s love for Channel 10 newsreader Helen Kapalos is widely known and the two came together during the event at Docklands. Kapalos bid $550 to have Hamish wine and dine her on stage - something he wishes he could do again away from prying eyes no doubt.
18th July: Why did Ryan Bastinac look like he’d been on a holiday in the lead up to the game against the Bulldogs? Well apparently Basti was shaving his legs at home and went to use some of his mum’s moisturiser. Unfortunately, he actually grabbed her self tanning lotion instead. When he arrived at the ground, he had brown legs and bright orange hands.

8th July: It was a cold day on Thursday, but it a got lot more chilly for Andrew Swallow...as he tweeted @andrewswallow, 'While doing ice baths today the boys thought it would be funny to steal all my clothes...' Alone in the change rooms, he was last seen rummaging around in the lost property bin and left Aegis Park wearing a short sleeved Hawaiian shirt and red shorts. The finger is being pointed directly at our dietician Jona Segal who is battling pranksters of his own. Every time he leaves his office unattended, the boys stack up boxes of Redbak health supplements to the ceiling on his desk. He reckons it's been happening for months.

8th July: Someone should tell Liam Anthony to have a look in the mirror before he leaves home. LA was on his way to a work placement at Tennis Australia and while he dressed for the occasion with a business shirt and slacks, it was his feet I was more worried about. Luckily one of our recruiting guys Jimmy Driscoll came to the rescue with two matching shoes.
26th June: Michael Firrito is getting to a point where every time he opens his mouth, he puts his foot in it. Most recently he was having a conversation with Shane Watson about our physio Konrad the Russian’s (KTR) iPhone leather wallet. Watto asked Spud if he’d spend $40 to buy one for himself to which he replied, “I would rather take my forty dollar note and stick it down the gutter.” Really Spud? A forty dollar note? I wasn’t aware they existed.

24th June: Lachie Hansen was asked if he’d caught up with Geelong’s Jimmy Bartel to discuss their respective concussion symptoms…apparently Lachie replied, “Yeah we caught up for a coffee but neither of us remember it.”

14th June: This could go down as one of the funniest things I have heard this year.

Darren Crocker’s ducted heating was playing up so he rang Michael Passmore (a former player) for help.

Michael told Darren to get his drill and “stick it in the outdoor power-point." - Crock totally misunderstood the instruction and took his electric drill and drilled straight into the power socket! Michael, still on the phone at the time, heard the drill going and said “Well clearly it’s not an electrical fault because I can hear the drill working.” - It was only at this stage that Crock realised Michael wanted him to plug the drill in, not drill it directly into the socket! You’re lucky to be alive Crock!
12th June: Not sure where The Age newspaper is getting its information from these days, but apparently we have a Patrick McCarthy playing for us (see caption below).
12th June - Andrew Swallow is the player responsible for handing out our jumper award each week - an award presented to the player we think best encapsulated what the club is all about on the field. You can get it for things like committing a courageous act, doing the team thing or having an outstanding game. After Spitter played his amazing game against Adelaide, he gave me the jumper and said “Do you want to hand it out this week?” Clearly he was anticipating getting it straight back at the team meeting and knew he couldn’t give it to himself!

12th June - Barry the Brooser our club mascot has claimed a world first after planking in the forward pocket before our game at Metricon Stadium. (I do not condone planking, but this was done safely and was funny). It also happens my best mate Clint was in the suit.

12th June - Drew Petrie watched Rocky 4 a while back and didn’t know which fighter Rocky was.

12th June - Ryan Bastinac and Ben Cunnington started a war with Scott Thompson on the Gold Coast. Scooter left his phone in the boys’ room to charge…it was a rookie mistake and Basti and Cunners changed the pass-code lock so he can’t use it anymore. They have so far refused to tell him what it is.

Now the boys are prime suspects for doing the same thing to Levi Greenwood about 6 weeks ago. Levi had to take his phone into the Apple store to be reset and he lost all his data and contacts…now he knows who the most likely culprits were!

Scooter is vowing revenge and a war of words has also erupted. Basti called him the tightest player at the club and Scooter was overheard by several people on the team bus to have said, “If I’m so tight, why am I driving a $100,000 car around then?”

Still on phone sabotage and our dietician Jona Segal had Michael Firrito’s phone and sent a message to about 20 of Spud’s close friends and family saying that he’d proposed to his girlfriend Bonnie - it turns out, Spud was actually planning to get down on one knee that very weekend, but in light of the random message, postponed it until two weeks later.

30th May - Andrew Swallow is a good looking Rooster, I’ll give him that…but the boys tell me that he may have gone a little too far recently in the beauty stakes.Apparently he had a photo shoot as the new face of 2XU Compression gear and forgot to remove the mascara they’d put on him before he came to training.
27th May - He’s just signed a lucrative contract, but I’m hearing Andrew Swallow has enlisted the help of former lawyer and now North CEO Eugene Arocca to fight the local council over a $60 parking fine…and they call me tight!

17th May -
We all love upbeat music to get the adrenaline pumping before a big match but things hit a flat note in the lead up to our game versus Melbourne at Etihad Stadium. Somehow, Adele’s tear-jerker hit song “Someone Like You” was played over the PA just minutes before the opening bounce. It must have been the reason why we had such a slow start!

11th May - Kieran Harper, Liam Anthony, Jack Ziebell and Aaron Mullett have new haircuts thanks to ‘Kanga Lotto’. Fishy Mullet and Harps were devastated when their numbers came up.
29th April - Daniel Pratt must have suffered a bit of concussion after playing his first game for the year in the AFL. We caught up at our dietician Jona’s house for dinner and Pratty brought his new girlfriend around. When he was introducing her to the boys…he completely forgot Ayden Kennedy’s name. Way to go Pratty!
21st April - On Follow Swallow a few weeks back, Andrew wrote:

Some of the players have also been on the Gumtree website posting sale items on behalf of people at the club - the only thing is that the people at the club don’t know they’re actually selling anything.

They put our dietician Jona Segal’s horses up for sale without him knowing and he received about 40 calls.

Well for those wanted to know more well here’s some info and a photo…
The horse’s name is Hug and is trained by Mark Jones (a keen North supporter) who taught him to do hold the flags in his mouth in just two days! He now working towards getting Hug to take a mark with his front legs whilst standing on his hind legs.

26th March - Daniel Wells and Michael Firrito will celebrate their 150th games over two weeks. The boys will run out with loved ones against Collingwood next week. Wellsy's gonna carry his daughter Laudate, while Spud will probably take his tiny pooch Bruno through the banner.

26th March - North Melbourne cult figure Adam Maranello was seeing red after discovering someone had keyed his Mazda outside Aegis Park this week.

26th March - Darren Crocker's lead over Craig Sholl on this website's  'Shinboner Showdown' feature is in question.

Sholl and others reckon Crock's kids have been repeatedly voting for their old man and that's why he's in front.

26th March - A lot of the boys love to get to the hairdresser to prune the feathers for round one and Sam Wright was in that boat this week. Apparently he asked for a cut just like Nick Riewoldt but it didn't quite go to plan. Out came the clippers to save the day. A number four blade I believe.
26th March - Lindsay Thomas has been spooked of late, left at home alone at night because his partner and daughter are out of town. I just found out that he is convinced that his house is haunted and actually slept with his dog because he heard two loud bangs the other night.

23rd March - In our Huddle classroom in the Learning and Life Centre at Aegis Park, a grade four student asked Matt Campbell what was the biggest thing he'd ever hunted. He replied "A cow...and it took four bullets to bring it down."

8th March - Quote of the year from the Virgin Blue flight attendant when we landed at Albury airport on Saturday…she had all the boys laughing after announcing:

“The weather outside is currently…actually I have no idea but I assume it’s somewhere between 20 and 30 degrees."

8th March - A tough night at the office for some of our footy department guys in Lavington…Ray Breed, Alan Hincks and Jason Lappin were stranded more than 7 metres in the air behind the goals in a scissor lift after a local stole the keys to the mechanism for a prank. It took more than half an hour to locate the manual switch after the game to get them down.

4th March - Just found out Michael Firrito has never tasted Vegemite! How unAustralian is that!

3rd March - Nathan Grima received third degree burns to his left index finger after a coffee making mishap at Aegis Park. Narni got distracted when Brad Scott entered the kitchen area and his hand came into contact with the milk steamer.
3rd March - Our CEO Eugene Arocca has shown some shinboner spirit of late after having nine injections in the one sitting at the dentist!

10th February - Sam Wright got up at 5.30am on team photo day to do his hair.

9th February - Cam Richardson was a three time Ballarat champion skateboarder and came close to being state champion. He also reckons he was responsible for bringing back skinny jeans.

9th February - Jack Ziebell’s favourite movie is Titanic. He has it recorded on his Foxtel at home and admitted to watching it at least ten times.
8th February - Lachie Hansen is growing a moustache to use it as a marketing tool for a new business. He has just started lawn mowing on his days off and wants to be known as the Mow-Man.

8th February - Scotty Thompson wore different sized flippers in a swim session the other day. He was paddling on his back, went off on a funny angle and bashed his head against the pool wall. It split and blood was streaming into the water…he had to get out after just one lap!

8th February - I heard that Michael Firrito is in a love triangle - has a new interest in his life…a little dog the size of my iPhone named Bruno. He takes it everywhere and even carries it in his handbag like Paris Hilton.
Brent Harvey will be adding more entries to this page throughout the year - add it to your favourites to receive the latest updates.

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