I have a confession to make. I am addicted to Yahtzee. It’s not something I think I can control. It has taken over my life. At the airport in the Virgin Lounge, I was playing with Jack Ziebell, Robbie Tarrant and Aaron Edwards. Taz is average despite claiming to be ‘good at the logistics of the game’. It’s probably worth mentioning that Azza is crap and could be the worst player going around. He is even worse than Lindsay Thomas. I feel my biggest threat is Jack, and Daniel Wells would be in the top two. Jack has good wrist action on the rolling of the dice while Wellsy uses his experience to grind out games. As for me, I have all the smarts and play one step ahead with a never-say-die attitude.

Levi Greenwood still plays Words With Friends but that game is so last year.

Boomer keeps trying to join in on our game but has so far missed the boat. He says he is the ‘Godfather of Yahtzee’. He has more things to worry about anyway with some issues in the wardrobe department. We had a club function to go to the other night after training and he needed to have his suit pants altered. So he was walking around the club in his undies looking for some help. He eventually came across our Sponsorship Manager Kerrie Brewer who actually had a needle and thread in her handbag and was only too happy to take them up for him. After she had finished, Todd Goldstein could have worn them as shorts, but they seemed to fit Boomer perfectly.

The issues didn’t stop there though. A few days later Boomer had his clothes stolen from his locker and he had to go home in his sweaty training gear. Leigh Adams was alone inside the club while everyone was training and was the prime suspect. However Boomer now seems to think Ryan Bastinac is the culprit and took things up a level on the bus from the Launceston airport to our accommodation. When Basty hopped on the bus Boomer warned him, ‘if I see you anywhere near my locker again, I will cut your bloody fingers off’. Basty continues to deny, deny, deny.

Speaking of suspects, Scott McMahon has been nailed as the person stacking boxes of protein powder and supplements like a game of Jenga on our dietician Jona Segal’s desk. The other day, the tower was up to the roof.

Jona is relieved to have the mystery now solved because he has a fair bit on his plate (no pun intended). He is currently working hard to keep Sam Wright trim and terrific. Wrighty has been unable to exercise because of his shoulder injury and is at risk of increasing his skin folds to dangerous levels. Sam is over here in Tassie with us and when I asked why, he said ‘to help improve the players’ mental toughness’. At dinner he was told to eat lean, but was spotted with a small plate piled extremely high. I hope Jona doesn’t read this, otherwise Sam will be in a bit of trouble.

Our main physio Steve Saunders stirred up a bit of trouble on the way over. A few boys noticed a disgraceful advertisement in the latest edition of Inside Sport in which Steve’s name was prominent. He created a special massage device called the ‘EZR’ and took out a half page ad in the magazine that read something head wobbly like ‘designed by physiotherapist and North Melbourne Director of Medical Services and Player Pathways Steve Saunders’. The rumour was that he got onto the plane early and replaced the Virgin Blue magazine with Inside Sport and bookmarked the page to try and sell some. They also appeared in the in-flight menu below Nobbies nuts and were being flogged by the flight attendants who were clearly on commission.

The EZR is something our weights coach Dan Meahan might get a lot of use out of. I might actually buy him one so that the players can get some time on the massage tables. The other day Dan took three masseurs off the roster for a personal rub while a queue of players built up outside the medical area. He is an incredibly massive unit and said he needed all three because of his large frame. I snapped a quick photo and he was not camera shy at all. That’s probably because he is a male model in his spare time and actually has his own website.

Dan on the massage table

Speaking of websites, our website producer Rob ‘Superbob’ Burton has apparently acquired some helpers in the office. That, or Kieran Harper needs to get a list of all staff and their job descriptions. The other day he was taking his sponsors on a tour through the Aegis Park administration area upstairs. When he came to explain the area of the club where Superbob sits, he declared, ‘these are all the people who do the Facebook pages and that’. Unfortunately Kieran was a little off the mark. In that area sits the chief executive, chief operating officer, events department, media department, sales department, graphic design department, marketing department and sponsorship department.

Anyway, it’s time for bed. Collingwood is smashing Port and the Swans are neck and neck with the Bombers - I’m only interested in one result though and that won’t come until about 5pm tomorrow.